the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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