I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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