the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
