As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
