Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
