it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
