oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
third nipple confirmed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
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