Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
