She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
