You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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