hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
