White coat. Heels.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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