They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
