I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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