When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
