Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
