did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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