If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize