Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize