Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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