I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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