Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Too much gin, very little bucket
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
