I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize