please come you make the beer taste better
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
