My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize