I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
