Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
