By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
