Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
