you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
