ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
