I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
