In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
