sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Are we still banned from the library?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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