The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
