Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
