Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
