Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize