so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
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