My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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