I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
