people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize