we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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