so explain again why im purple
no
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize