Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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