We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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