ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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