Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
