I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
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