At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
