drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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