Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
