Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize