That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
