Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
