Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
