dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
