I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
