You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
