Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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