I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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