I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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